Finding a Secret
by thisisfaycountri
Summary: James and Sirius finally get Remus talking.


QLFC submission

Season 6: Caerphilly Catapults

Round 8, Chaser 2: K-drama - Are You Human Too? Theme - finding out someone was not the same species(you know what I mean) as you.

Prompts: (Color) aquamarine, (dialogue) I've waited this long, yet suddenly now I'm impatient", (phrase) on his/her knees.

"Word count:

"He's Sick again," I tell James, frowning at Remus' empty seat. He usually sat next to me, with Peter next to James and James across from me. But Peter had decided to sleep in, and James and I had woken up to find Remus already gone. We'd come down to, eat breakfast with him, but he wasn't in the great hall, either.

"He could be studying in the library already, you never know." He corrects me, but he doesn't sound convinced.

"at 8 in the morning on a Sunday? I don't think so. We should go to the hospital wing."

"He could be-"

"Do you want to spend half the day searching the castle or do you want to go to the one place we've found him the past four times?" I cut him off, and he scowls at me.

"I'm just saying, he isn't always sick."

"But it's easier to check the hospital wing first, just in case," I argue back, standing. I drain the rest of my glass of juice and start moving, without waiting on an indignant James.

"Slow down Sirius! If he is there, it's not like he's going anywhere," he grumbles, catching up with me and straightening his shirt. It was the middle of winter, so he always had a thick, wool, longsleeved shirt on that I'm pretty sure his mother made him. It was white, with a bright aquamarine stripe around his middle and around the wrists of each sleeve. He'd defended once that his favorite color was Aquamarine and it was soft, so of course, he was going to wear it. I think he was just afraid of disappointing his mother. He'd let Remus borrow it on occasion and while it was baggy and loose on James, it fit Remus like a glove.

"So, do you think he's going to tell us this time?" James asks as we climb the stairs. I snort like that was funny, but it wasn't. We asked every time he got sick of what was wrong, and each time, he would beg off, asking us to leave it alone.

"I don't think that you should push him if he's sick," he says carefully like he's read my thoughts. I just give him a sideways look.

"Sirius, if he's sick, he isn't going to want to tell you anyway. Ask him when he's better."

"I think the only reason he isn't telling us when we ask is because Peter is with us. If we ask when he isn't around, he almost gives in, and then suddenly Peter is there, nosing around, and he clams up."

"Peter is just as much his friend as he is ours!" James jumps to Peters defense, and I roll my eyes.

"Peter is your friend, James. And he's our dormmate. I don't particularly care, either way, he's fun sometimes and he always has a good laugh, but Remus doesn't like him. Surely you can see that?"

"You're saying three years of school together and he still doesn't like him?"

"Maybe he likes him, but he doesn't trust him. Not like he does you and me." I disagree. I drop the subject as we reach the hospital wing and I push the doors open.

"Ah, Boys. I thought I might see you here soon." Madame Pomfrey says with an amused tone as she bustles in from her office.

"Is Remus here, Ma'am?" James asks politely.

"He's in the back bed, the one that is closed off. Once he wakes up, he will be okay to head to the dorm, but he should stay put for most of the day," she tells us patiently, before waving us away. We both go to the curtained off area and sneak in. I turn from closing the curtain and freeze.

Remus' amber eyes were squinted but focused in on me. Besides his hair and his forehead, that's about all I could see from his huddled form. Usually, he slept until noon, so I was shocked he was awake so early. His eyes were brighter than normal, but I put that to one of the potions he must have taken.

"Morning Remus. We were worried about you." I murmur softly to him.

"Mmm. S'rry. Whatimeissit?"

It takes a moment for me to understand his slur.

"Just past 8:30, I'd think."

"At night?" his voice is a little more awake and alarmed.

"No, Remus. Sunday morning." James cuts in, laughing slightly. Remus' tense muscles relax.

"Good."

"Are you well enough to walk to the dorms? Madam Pomfrey said you could leave." I ask after a few more minutes of silence. His eyes flutter open again, and I realize he was probably falling asleep.

"Er, sorry, we can-"

"No, Help me up." He unfolds carefully and we can see his pajamas were ruffled as he peels the covers back. He slides on a pair of slippers and shivered as he stood.

"Here." James is stripping his wool sweater off before I can say anything to Remus about grabbing a gown. James hands it over with a grin and Remus puts it on gratefully.

"Thanks, James." He settles the sweater on and we make a slow walk to the dorms. I'm crossing my fingers that Peter isn't there when we walk in, and thankfully, he's not. Remus falls onto his bed with a groan and I flop down next to him, making him laugh. James falls on his other side a moment later and he sighs, but still doesn't say anything.

"So,"

"Please, not today Sirius." Remus cuts me off quietly.

"I haven't even said anything yet!" I exclaim, making James snicker. I reach over Remus to give him a smack and Remus makes an annoyed sound.

"When can we know if you won't tell us now?" I ask after we fall silent again.

"Why do you have to know?"

"Because you're our friend and we're worried about you," James tells him in a matter of fact tone.

"Please, just leave it alone."

"You've been like this for three years, Remus. Is it deadly? Are you dying? We don't want to lose you!" James tells him, sitting up again. He's worked himself into a panic, something James was very good at.

"I'm not going to roll over and die on you James, calm down," Remus mutters, smacking at him halfheartedly.

"So it is killing you." I chime in. he doesn't correct me, and James' eyes go wide.

"Remus!"

"James, it's not going to happen for a while. Please. It's nothing for you to worry about."d Remus groans.

"No! I've waited this long, yet suddenly now I'm impatient. If this is killing you, let us know and we can help! We wouldn't want-"

"James just fucking leave it!"

There's a beat of silence at his outburst.

"Please." his voice breaks, and James looks startled at that. Remus' voice hadn't broken nearly as much as his and I's had since school started. He always joked it was because he hit puberty earlier than we did, and we'd laugh about it. Now though, it was unnerving to hear it crack.

"We just want to help." I chime in a quiet tone.

"You can't help. No one can. Please, Jamie, Siri, just leave it alone. I don't… I can't… It could make everything fall apart. Just leave it alone." he begs. If he wasn't so exhausted, I think he might have been on his knees. He was so earnest about it, and I couldn't stand it anymore. I just want him to tell us so we can help him!

"If-"

"No."

"No?" James and Remus echo back at the same time. I'd cut off James, but I don't care. I finally sit up and stand, the only way I'm getting any height on Remus right now because he and James towered over me.

"We are your friends, and we care. We aren't going to let anything happen to you. We won't tell anyone if that's what's stopping you. Marauders oath." I say stubbornly. Remus blinks up at me as I cross my arms and lift my chin, trying to look determined.

The silence eats at me, but I refuse to back down. James looks like he wants to say something, but whether it was for or against my argument, I wasn't sure. And I didn't care.

"I'm… sick."

"Obviously." I quip, and that makes him crack a smile.

"I've been… sick, since I was a kid. I was… attacked when I was little, and I've been getting… sick ever since." he says carefully. I narrow my eyes.

"Can you actually tell us?" I demand. His head shakes just slightly and James and I share a surprised look. I think over the revelation a moment, and then blink down at him in shock.

"Wait.. really? Are you..?" I take a deep breath and James gives me a quizzical look.

"You're gone the day after the full moon. Every month. Like clockwork." I murmur. James' eyes light up and I nod just slightly.

"You're a werewolf?" The whispered sentence comes from James. When Remus nods just slightly, playing with the sleeves of James' sweater and not looking at either of us, I share a startled look with James. A werewolf?

But it makes sense. The sickness, the growth, the eyes. Some of his habits, why he was always alone until we had adopted him.

"You should have told us," I told him sternly.

"I know, I know I should have. But Headmaster Dumbledore told me not to, and then made me take an oath, and then I was so terrified that you would hate me! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll tell the headmaster you want me to leave, and-"

"You think we want you to leave? Remus, I'm upset because there is a way we could help, and it takes long enough to master as it is, that I'm upset it's going to take even longer." I cut him off. He looks up so fast I hear his neck pop.

"Excuse me?"

"Werewolves work best in packs. The best way to make a pack is to be around sentient animals. The best way to have a sentient animal?"

"Animagus'!" James chimes in, already excited.

"Exactly."

"Wait, what?"

"We're going to go to the library to look up how to be an animagus. You go to sleep, Madam Pomfrey's orders. We'll bring you up some chocolate later." I tell him, motioning James up off the bed. We wrestle our friend into the covers and close his drapes to make sure he actually slept. He was still protesting as we closed the door, but we ignored him.

Now that we knew we could help our best friend, there was nothing that could get in our way.


End file.
